at 1.07 am date 30th of january... you send me a message that i never aspect you will... why?? i dont know i should reply you or not... i wanted to reply but....... the flash of the time when you scold me , your voice... its make me hurt enough...huh.... why...you make me like this?? after you've hurt me all this time with so much hurt... you just can send me a message sounds ' just wanna ask you take care.sorry disturbing' thats all meow??? thats all you can say??? after one year and 9 month , thats all you can say to me??? i hope you were beside me so that you can see how much suffer you gave me... so that you can see how hurt i am.. so that you can see how much i love you... i hope you happy with her... things been past so long...lets forget and forgive okay??? i need time to recover my heart to treats you as a friend... again...hmm... and i keep my promise to you... and still keep until now... the things that you ask me to do ,'dont find me' , thats you say to me.... so i wont find you anymore.... i just wishing that you happy with her...

thinking after whole night i just get what is love suppose to means... some people describe the love as eternal... some people find out love is something sweet and nice happen in their life and some people find out love such a disaster in their life.... different people different thought... hmm... likes romeo and Juliet , cause of love they disobey their parents... disobey their family.... like ugly and the beast , ugly face did not give them any way to not fall in love with each other... hmm.... husband and wife , the build of their house and the kids that fulfill their life is the proof of their life... marriage of many years is the proof of their love... not every people in this earth get lucky in love... somes will happy in the present of love and of course somes will suffer after the lost of their love... somes will hurt their self cause cant get to accept the fact that they being leave by the one their love but somes will through it with sad as the says forget and forgive.... mostly memory that we create when in love , not usually will be the same for the following days... love can appears in many terms and types of relationships such as we know as homosexual  as lesbian and gay that out of beyond the world and metro sexual relationships types.... but me and my siblings is the proof of my mom and my dad love... but why sometimes after the separateness of the love will make someones regrets ??? why ?? maybe I'm too young to understand what is means by love... but surely for now my heart will not gonna open my heart for anyone to get in through... and maybe i will try to understand about it some days... the most of my fear is to get in love... again... scare to get hurt and being hurt... enough for last relationship... hmm... i take a long time to forget the one i love and i glad now i can let meow go... =) so much effect in my life... huh....

haha.. its kinda funny to think about me.. hmm meow... i already can let her go... but... you make me always care you... but i realise you like other... hmm cancer horoscope says this month cancerian love will improve... thats maybe means that i like you.. but also got says love being reject... haha... now i know what it means =) but you dont know i like you... i also dont know i like you until someday when you care that girl... i felt jealous about that... but i try to avoid you and says impossible i like you... but then , dont know why i so care you... haha... maybe that just a feels inside my head =) beside we just know each other... hmm im sorry if im treat you not like before cause im trying to avoid from you.... so maybe i will treat you cool a bit... hmm... you were such a good friend of mine... i didnt denied that...., but i realise you like other =) so.... before i like you more..., better i go away from you first.... =) hope you can say to her that you like her ba.. =) dont worry about me ... cause im in person are more better than before .... i've grown up... =) baby... good luck oh... ^^ hope you can tell her your actual feels... ^^ me?? dont worry ... cause i will try to avoid my feel to you .... i will go from you... bye ~~~~

love is certainly not for me right now =) should i tell her the truth that exactly i like her??? no... i dont think so.. i try to avoid from her... =) thats the better things... hmm... im tired... i always think..think and thinking >< but now i dont want to think about it anymore.... hmm... let it go through the times .... im change =) im happy... huh....... thats it... i will go... will go from you.... =) bye......

life very bored.... hmm memory that happen just a chapter in life... we cant make it eternal for everyone.... hmmm...

sometimes to let it out we just can cry and the tears flows the sadness and then come back someday.... hmmm.... we cant take it back... we cant make it happen... thats i learn..... you've promise me much things that make me believe that you wont leave me... but indeed you leave me too... i dont care... maybe cause now i changing to someone that really tough... for you i hurt my self... now i felt its useless..... hmm..... if you ,,, would you do the same for me ??? cut your hand for me??? crash yourself to the mirror for me??? no... know why?? cause im just a doll for you... when you want you find me but when you feel that you dont need me anymore... you just leave and accuse me cause of her.... yes... forgive and forget.... but i forgive and never forget the memory... thanks cause teach me to be tough person in heart... thanks cause teaching me what love is meant...... meow ..... you surely have change me to become............ someone..... thanks ...

why i should cry when you saying that... WHY LA/???? your words make me cry , cry and cry!!!!! why???? ENOUGH LA... YOUR WORDS MAKE ME FELT SO SAD!!! MY HEART SO SAD WHEN SEEING THAT...I CANT STOP CRYING.......!!!!!! I DONT KNOW EITHET YOU CHANGING NOW OR ME CHANGING!!!!! SO SHIT!!!!!

sad.. thats what i feeling now.. hmm.. oto doesnt want to care me.. why?? maybe cause im being so selfish.. huh... im sorry.. i didnt mean to be that selfish for you.. hmm... you dont want to reply my chatbox.. i dont know why/?? maybe cause it my wrong.. haih.. so much i hope you next to me , so that i can persuade you to not angry on me.. :( ... i felt jealous.. should i felt that?? no , right??? hmm i felt sad when you in relationship with that girl.. why?? its that a normal feel for a friends?? i very confuse >< .... huh.... da ge , i hope you with me now so that i have a person to hug.. hmm... i've no mood and be quite on depress now.. i felt like i want to run and scream.. let the feels now fly away following the wind... hmm... oto...., im sorry... hmm.. i dont know how to describe my feels towards you now.. i dont know either i like you as my BABY or i like you as a friend???? i care about you... hmm... im very confuse.. i feeling sad and jealous.... should i????? i keep questioning my self about that... looking at the mirror and ask... but i didnt get any answer.. left me there with confused.... hmm... tick tock tick tock.. the clocks keep moving....., but me?????? sitting here in front of my laptop and thinking what i should do now... ignore you . or just treat you as normal friend..... huh?? i should not felt jealous about that.. hmm ... maybe the best way is ignore you... hmm... i kinda miss you... but... hmm... you didint reply my chatbox... im sorry.... baby ...., im sorry :'(

friends , best friend forever and memory ( in love)

 

this two pretty girl are my school bestfiend.... and my "BFF".... the left side call YAN nad the right side call MEY......

this is my memory... meow her name......

this is ME ^^ .... present for family wedding in hyatt hotel , kota kinabalu :)

pretty girl... 21 years old.. this one is natasha... my room mates...

pretty dako.. 23 years old ... dakota lee.. house mates ^^

awin aka oto ( my baby) and kikie ( 5 years being friend)... why their picture like that??? gay and loce each other so much... haha JOKING.... of course they are not ^^ awin just broke up and kie together with tasha :)

to be continued ::::::::::::::::::: sincere.... erica yeenie :)

my condition now , same with the picture at the up side... im sick.. im not feeling well.. fever+flu.... :'(

who is this?? this crazy so lou is the friend that i just knew from a social network called facebook... her name is awin.. i think.. but from the beginner i knew her , i recognised her as oto.. very nice girl , sweet and cute... haha... she is a tb.. hmm.. but the weird one is when i get in hospital that day , she didnt slept whole night cause worry about me.. how a good friend... ^^

this is some more of her... well i can say kinda cute... picture of her... ^^...she is the cure of my sadness.. cause when i sad , she will make me laugh ^^.. seriously.. like when we sad , we see a cute baby.., we will smile and the sadness inside our heart will gone.. same like her.., when im sad , her calls can make me smile ^^ so i nick her as my 'BABY'

and ... here are more picture OF her... if you all are interested with her , you can take the form and contact                            erica yeenie.. phone number : 016******2....... HAHAHAHAAH.... baby.... dont angry :*

in memory... qash died in accident.. crash by the insane neighbour... :'( ... qash... mama love you always ^^

one of my favourite cake.. cappuccino cheese cake... yummy yummy...... ^^

keep eating this.. absolutely can make me fat and fat and fat.....

 

meow ..... just left a memory...................

 

 memory is still a memory.. you ever belong to me..you ever be mine.. this is the only way for me to remembering you... our relation that create on 8th august and its end when my birthday 29th of june.. and its truly end on your bithday on 26th of december.. i cried when i thinking of you.. how much pathetic i am.. cause of that girl , you willing to hurt me that much.. is it our memory , our relation is worth for you? i wish you were here.. so that i can hug you strongly and will never let you go.. i wish you were here.. so that i could tell you how much i miss you and how much i love you.. but that..., will not gonna ever happen.. cause i know . my heart wont that easy to accept you back eventhough i love you so much.. i miss to hear your laughter.. but i not ready to meet you face to face to you by now.. why?? i scared.. i scared i will get hurt so damn bad once again.. when i saw our picture , i will cry and my heart will felt that heavy.. got one day when the time i fully forget about you , but when i want to get into sleep.., i'll suddenly cry.. my heart so empty.. i realise that i haven forget you.. i missed the way you hold my hand , the way you touch my hair.. i miss your smile.. how much i wish i could have it once again.. our picture is the only memory left for me to remember you.. and i haven forget every singles words you say to me.. i rather to sacrifice my life to having you back  , but you never know how much deep my love towards you.. i sacrifice my happiness for letting you go.. some times get fed up with it but what can i do.. i just can cry and waiting with hopeless hope.. i mentioned your name in my every single pray.. hoping that you'll be back to me.. but what do i get? just your shadow.. yes , time and tide wait for no man to change.. but you..., changing me a lot.. huh............. i just can hope that you were happy with your life....

the new hair of mine... and the new person of me..is that nice? the colour suit me or not..hmm new year and nearly chinese new year.. i decide to change to be a better person.. meow??? i still miss her but she's not belong to me.. nothing i can do about.. i still love her but i realise she is not the perfect one for me.. just hoping that she will be okay and happy with that girl..hmm... i started my study at kl.. owh..nice college and i got a nice house mates.. tasha , a room mates of mine.. a sweet girl and very lovely girl like me.. ^^ bibi , a tb that always cool in act and stylish in clothes.. tania , a very boy girl kind but really friendly.. dakota , pretty lady and always smile.. but also always kinda rush in doing things.. luyee and manching , two twins that always arguing with each other and kinda hansome tb from perak.. hmm.. but i still miss my bff.. mey and yan..mommya and dad ,... i always miss you..my didi , adrian , this year is his first year going in secondary school.. my persian cat , mama loves you so much.. ^^ hmm thats all.. going to be continue soon...................................................................

Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit)

i miss you and i cant stop crying :'(