this few days , dont know why i felt unhappy .. i smile i laugh but mom says got something hidden in that smile .. i ask why ?? i dont understand .. mom said , she can see the pain inside my heart .. the pain that i tried to hide all this time .. the pain that i felt but i'm not dare to let other see it cause i scare people will think i'm weak .. is it ?? i dont know ..
today i heard a news from you .. you will get married in this year .. i should be happy right ?? congratulations .. but dont know why i'm not happy with the news .. i felt you've lost your ways .. because of one girls , that hurted you so much , in one days you've change much .. i couldnt cry .. seriously i want to cry but i cant cry out .. that feeling is suffer when knowing that i cant cry out for the one i love .. you said you lie to yourself cause you thought you two have a chance to be together again .. but i feeling the same too .. i am lying to myself cause i thought WE can do it .. but the fact is NO ..
you asked me , do i happy to hear the news ?? the news that you are getting married ?? i dont know .. i didnt felt shock , i didnt felt funny .. what i think now , what i felt now is like my heart being stabbed by a knife .. it's hurt , to know that my hope is nothing , to know that i am nothing inside your heart .. but finally i've got the answer ..
but i'm happy that you've think me as a friend .. i am glad .. that you'd like to share your happiness and sadness with me .. mom said , growing to become an adult , to become a person is a journey that we could never forget .. i'm happy mom always beside me to ask me be tough , to hug me when i needed to be hug ..
