IM NOT REGRET BEING LOVE YOU

no matter how much i tried to be good but it all are not worth !!!! know what??? cause you keep complain ...... maybe my way not suit you.. i love you so much know that??? but you neglect that... and keep make me hurt.. hurt and hurt until one day that is today that i cant hold it anymore.. i feel like our world being infected and somehow you left me neglected!!! i dont know why...,, why you cant appreciate me just once if you can.. i'm so love you !!!! love you so damn deep but same with past relationship, the most hurted one is me !!!! why ???? i dont know what's my wrong.. I HATE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am done..we lost it all.. stop until here.. i cant hold it anymore.. for sure i still love you.. but i really cant hold it.. we tried, how we cried , we lost ourself, the love is die, and though we tried you cant denied that your heart no more me.. and im SUFFER !!!!!

@#$%^&*()*&^%$!

what you want now har??? you make me treat you so damn annoying now.. so damn hurt.. if you not willing to have a relationship with me then fine.. up to you.. but no need say so hurting words towards me.. if you been with me lost very big money then okay.. we should stop it.. i will not use you this 012 number already la.. dont worry !!! i'm not using YOU to survive me !!! IM JUST USING YOU TO BE LOVED IF YOU BEEN NOTICED THAT !!!! so much pain !!!! so damn shit know that!!!! very irritating very annoying if you ask me how bout my feels towards you now.. i dont know how.. too much burden on me and feel like to much burden i gave you.. fine !! now you just say regret. now you just say unsatisfied.. for what? after what have we been thru?????? sorry , maybe we not suppose to be together.. ya, like you said.. what for we love someone if we not happy??? thats what i feel now!!!! ya , im young !! but i do have feel !! i am a human !!! i do know what is hurt means , AWIN OW !!!! i do have tears !!! but you treat me like im nothing !!! while im so care so love you and tried to understand you .. but its all wasting and not worth !!! all are bull shit and damn fucking things !!! all are fakes !!!!!!! really make me so fed up and so damn annoying.. i do love you , but your complain make me so ................. felt like the heart get stab by a knife !!!! all your words make so discontented !!! so damn hurt !!! you know what?? we can forget this promise la okay !! one and a half year ????? forget about it !!!! all you are saying make me damn hurt so damn pain.. before when you want say that think WHO IS THE PERSON WILL HURT BY YOUR WORDS !!!.. a person that you love talk like that to you , you will how?? have you ever think that ??  NO , IS IT???? cause you are being so self-ish !!! you did not care about anything unless you yourself, your things and your EX!!!!!!!  never think about the person who loves you tenderly now... you keep want hurt and keep hurting me.. slowly day by day.. i really dont know what you want.. sometimes good sometimes ????? think ba !!! i dont know who childish now.. me or you ????? dont after  done something just questioning about it......... IM SO DAMN FED UP WITH YOU !!!!!!!!! CAUSE WHAT I DID ALL ARE WRONG !!!!!!!!!

i think you know what you want now.. hmm =) and i guess i know what i want now.. what i want is done what im target about.. nobody have inspire me..nobody have encourage me to do something.. finally i've got the person to push me to achieve on what i want.. finally i've got the aim that i never had before.. =) i think i can do it.. i loving you.. you know how much i love you.. but unrequited love is much hurting than anything.. maybe our fate is just to be a good friend.. not to be a couple.. hmm.. based on what we promise, sure i will wait..i  will wait that day for us to be together again.. but i have to ready on mentally too incase that you will not to be at my side when i had achieve the aim.. =( i realise that you still love her.. and i realise that i am nothing inside your heart.. i know you love me when we be together but the feels cant compare to how much you love her.. right?? i can accept it.. =) when be with you i realise i heve change a lot.. started to care someone we love really happiness.. the feel that i never care about before.. =) .. i have no longer had the kiddo's attitude ..=) .. maybe you change me to mature or i learn from the surrounding to be a mature person.. hmm.. i hurt but finally i cant comtrol my feels.. like you always say.. feels is control by ourself..is it?? ya, now i realise what the meaning of your words.. maybe i grown up from the past.. for the final word of this post..i will wait.. i will wait your heart come back to me again.. one and half year is not long if we really sincere to done our things for that long of time.. hmm..

i need you =)

what a sweet couples that i wish one day i will be the most happiness person like they did..hmm =(

how many really know what love is?? millions never will... do you know until you lose it??  that its everything that we will looking for.. when i wake up in the morning and you're beside me.. im so thankfull that i found everything that i've been looking for.. =) i dont wanna forget the present is a gift and i dont wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me .. so everytime i hold you, hol you like that is the last time.. everytime i kiss you , kiss you like i'll never see you again.. everytime i touch you,  see we dont really know, touch you like that is the last time see everyday we never know.. i promise that i love you, love like i'll never see you again.. cause i will wait.. wait the day coming.. =)

think positive, move on and be happy =)

i will live happily while waiting you and thinking positively.. and hope you will be fulfill your promises towards me.. =)

and i will live and stay happily with my two child..hahaha small bear awin and big bear awin ^^

being with you teach me to be mature.. your mature habit teach me to be mature and appreciate every moment when i be with you =) hmm.. i've promise you that i will wait you.. i will and i will always love you.. no doubt about it..you yourself know im what kind of person.. hmm.. and i will always support you no matter what you do, no matter it will hurt me or not cause i just want see your happiness.. hmm =) i still remember the first day we met.. =) hmm you lie me you go singapore but actualy you come here to surprise me.. i so happy.. you gave a big bear as a present for me.. so cute.. ^^  hmm.......................... but now all that just left a memory.. =) but no matter how, i still appreciate it and never regret about it ^^.. cause you know i love you..always and always .. hmm.............

broken hearted girls

i love you 

now memory just left a memory..

 you..!!!name with awin ow.. hurt me so much..you make a decision that not only just hurting me but also yourself..you hated yourself when i love you cause you still think about your ex..but why you want to be with me?? and hurt me after i love you so damn deep??

our memory...

why you want like this treat me?do you know that i really love you?? i still remember you says that no matter how we quarrel we cant say break up this word.. but you did..you've broke your promise..why??you make me trust your every singles promise that you've made for me..sometimes i think that you come here find me is the mistake that destroys our relationship..im so suffer..why you want complain anything that i've done for you?? be nice girlfriends? you complain about it.. but when i didnt care you, you also complain about it.. then you want me how? teach me.. why when i so sure you are the one for me you just want to leave and say that you still care and think about catte?? why?? but is okay..i've made my decision..i will wait you no matter how long and the rest is depends on you how to fulfill the promises...

hey hey hey..its been so long time that i didn't write anything here..hmm what i want to share here is that I've found my love..=) hmm... awin ow, that's my lover name.. but maybe what I'm gonna share here got a lil bit complicated than the real couple relationship suppose to be..maybe i will think what I'm write here is as I'm talking to awin cause i know that i don't have the courage to say it out.. not every couple will through all nice things every time..some couples will found out hardness in their relationship..as the saying, in every relationship must got sweet and bitter..hmm..actually i miss before Erica and awin relationship..loving each other, taking care each other..its very sweet on the phone..but when we meet up, something make us very far..something missing in our relations..but i try to hold on..try to save the relations between us..maybe i would say , 'if i could control my heart, i will control to stop falling in love with you' ..but now i cant..i love you..i care you, you know i do but i just don't know how to show it to you..but is it so fast this relations will gonna end?? i couldn't think about it now, not cause i cant..i can think about it bit i not dare..i not dare to falls my tears again..i not dare to hurt my self again..cause i know i don't have the strenght to go through it..I'm weird..when we got meet up we suppose to more close to each other not become more far..but the fact now, we are become too far from before..the connections be tween us seems like no more..cold blooded relationship started to cover our hot and sweet relations..maybe I'm too naive.. believing on what i suppose to not believe on.. but i don't know why my heart so tough and ready to go through 'that' situation again..i don't know why?? i don't know why I'm ready to lost everything in my heart..and you know that everything is YOU.. i don't want you felt suffer to be with me..i don't want you to sympathy me.. i don't want you to force yourself to be with me because of you scare to hurting me and scare i would do silly things..but bi , don't worry..I've promise you i will not do those things again then i will not..i will not hurt myself again..because I've promise you..hmm...i don't know why, it seems like both of us no chance to have long term relationship..because today i realise that no matter how good i am towards you, no matter how hard I've change to take care you, no matter how hard i try to be a better girlfriend for you, you still not satisfy with it..you still complain about it and make me down..i know..i realise that I'm not a good girlfriend for you..hmm..but i know i make the what comes and the least of what goes.. =( ... but im trying harder to be a good girlfriend for you.. " you know you love someonewhen you want them to be happy even if their happiness means that you're not part of it =( " hmm...but i still want to hold our relation and gives time to each other..