heart sayings...

very upset today .. my head keep think about the you .. i love you .. i do really love you but i have to let go .. i really had to let go .. the last we talk phone , if you still remember what you said to me .. " i just treat as usual friend " .. when hear that , if you know the feeling , its very hurt .. but ya , i know how to hide my feels from others .. so i pretend i had nothing impressions with it .. so , who am i to you before ? sometimes i think that you just use me to forget her .. but why me ? hmm ..

you didnt give yourself a chances to know me .. you didnt give us a chance .. when i love you , you realize you still love her and you cant be with me cause it will be unfair to me .. okay , i accept that .. and even you know that i'm waiting for you .. and you promise you will be give yourself a chance to know me again .. day by days been past .. i realize that the promise you make you will never be able to fulfill it so i give up the promise and flows like naturally ..

you give me hope .. so that i continue to wait for you .. when we be together , your heart is actually loving her and thinking of her .. i accept .. but when the time you decide to move on and let go , i thought that you will give yourself a chance to know me .. but despite , you are not give yourself a chance to know me better .. you are giving yourself a chance to look for other .. when realizing that , its make my heart broke down .. and im thinking , did i deserved to taste and to feel the pain ?

my spirit go downs .. days past with waiting .. waiting for your call , waiting for your message .. but i didnt received any calss and message from you .. until one day , when we quarrel about the picture .. about the first picture , thats is really my fault and convince and admit that is my misunderstand .. but the second picture , if you think as much as possible , which girl , girls that loving you will not felt pain felt hurt with picture ? you just knew that girl for few days and you put your profile picture with her picture together , which person will not misunderstand about it ? i bet your friend are asking about it too ..

she's move on .. and why not you move on ? despite you are acting like a kids by doing so .. when you did that , had you ever think the people that love you will how ? you said you just use her pretty .. i dont want to question about that .. but whats make me hurt is , you dare to put that girls and your picture combine together and make it your profile picture .. but when we be together you never do so .. but thats not a big deal for me .. i am nothing with that ..

after the argument that we had , days been past .. and we are getting far .. and sometimes i miss you in a way the person that i firstly met .. you changes .. and im thinking is it i have to let go you now ..but i do give my self a chance and hoping i can keep the relations .. but i realize i cant redeem our relationship .. but i cant let you go .. so i let it flow naturally ..

sunday , 8th of may , is the last day we contact .. i called you but we have no more a fun conversations like before .. and i realize that i have no place in your heart anymore .. so after we end the phone conversations .., i send you a message saying that i give up for all of it ..

i realize i still can love you when we have no contact .. i still can love you without hurt feelings , without pain , and without burden you .. i still can love you without your knowledge and loving you in my silent tears .. i'm tired .. i really tired until i cant cried out for the pain ..

you are a good person .. you are not playing me .. just you lost your ways and her leaving change you .. but without your knowing your changes are hurting me .. and i cant accept at the pain anymore .. its too deep until i cant hold it .. im sorry cause i cant be a good friends of yours ..